brigham city

I had an awesome, fabulously wonderful weekend. Kyle invited me up to Brigham City for his sister's wedding (which was at the Logan temple - my third favorite). It was a beautiful wedding, and it was fun to meet his family.

I have a ton of cookies to eat, though! Left over from the reception.

Recently, I've been doing a lot of thinking. I always feel like I do this every year around this time, but I've been reevaluating myself. Last year, it was because I was sure something was wrong with me because, as far as I knew, two different guys liked me primarily, but then just suddenly stopped pursuing me. Ridiculous. I found out that God had a completely different plan for me, and I learned to trust him more than my initial feelings. I think it was then that I truly learned to accept myself the way I am, and if I'm not happy with something about me, fix it.

The year before that, it was freshman year. I was really feeling homesick and drowning in my assignments, I was worried sick about my roommate because for some reason or another, I was certain that she was going anorexic. I felt entirely insignificant and useless. I had several crying sessions over the course of one week, prayed, and then felt a calming assurance that everything was as it should be. There were many more things going on that I don't quite remember, but I do remember this: I can't control everything, but as long as I trusted in God, then my life would be in control.

This year... well, I'm still trying to figure it out. I have complete faith in the Lord to help me through this. In fact, I'm not quite entirely certain why I'm feeling so blue (could be the winter downs... Spring needs to get here quick!) but whatever it is, the Lord will help me weather it out and I will come out stronger for it. Every tree needs its winter, and every heart needs its season. The Lord loves us, and he won't let us muddle through on our own.

Returning to school after such a lovely weekend was an awful wake up to reality. I had my conference paper (never wanna look at it again!!!) today, and my presentation was... ok, I suppose. I kept on stuttering, and my stomach kept twisting itself into knots. I survived, though! The entire walk home, I repeated my new mantra: "I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive!"

Tomorrow I need to read Merchant of Venice and write a paper on it. Fabulous. Haven't even started yet. I think after that, I'll take a much needed break and head up to have my alone time at Bridal Veil Falls. When all my assignments come crashing down on me, I feel sorta trapped, and I go comatose. I just need to get outa this town, which is funny, cuz I only just got back scant 18 hours ago...