engagged to be marred

I realize this is several days too late, but I'm engaged!

So in my Creative Writing class this summer, we learned about different types of lyrical essays (or poetry in prose), so I decided I would try my hand (pun) at it. Here is a hermit crab essay. I assure you that this is not perfect, and I ask that you recognize that this is only my first shot at this style of writing.

Reason #1 for writing a hermit crab essay: I was worried that I couldn't tell this story interestingly enough. I wanted it to be creative.

Reason #2 for writing a hermit crab essay: I realize some people are speculating on the inner workings of my mind right now. Some of your thoughts may be "Why does she keep changing her mind?" or "I don't understand what's going on here. I thought she was committed to her mission." I offer you this story in the hopes of shedding light on the situation.

Reason #3 for writing a hermit crab essay: I thought it would be fun to try something new.

Enjoy!

"How to become engaged to be married the Kyle and Jayna way."

The Preliminaries:

Apply for a mission. Be gung-ho for it and attend mission prep classes. Talk of nothing else. If you're lucky, some amazing guy will notice you and find your pre-missionary antics endearing. He might even ask you out on a date. Although if you've already committed yourself not to go on dates, you might have to find yourself caught in an unplanned date, and you'll notice at the cash register that he's already paid for the gelatos you went out to have. As you look back, you'll realize how much fun it was to spend time with him, and then you'd be willing to go out on another date with him.

Just your luck. The next day, he pulls you aside just as you're about to go inside your apartment for the night. He asks you to the play that is currently being shown at the school theater. If it's not Peter Pan, say no; if it is, say yes.

It's Peter Pan, the play that you and your sister were going to go see, except that both of you forgot about the plans you made four weeks earlier. Your sister is part of the Honor's program, so she can get a discount ticket anytime, so you decide to accept the date offer. Have a glorious time. Laugh at the crocodile - he's your favorite character. Avoid talking, because formal first dates make you nervous (the gelato date doesn't count - it wasn't planned). Say something embarrassing anyways, something around the subject of plastic surgery and lip injections. Wonder why you bother to say anything at all.

Somehow, he will still be interested in you and ask you on another date. And another. Celebrate your birthday. Watch Firefly - he will hold your hand. Go on a walk, you two become an official item.

The relationship:

Weeks pass. You are looking forward to and dreading your mission call in the mail. The longer it takes, the antsier you become. It comes and you celebrate and despair, but Bishop solves your conflict by suggesting a deferment. Say yes immediately. Wonder why having a boyfriend complicates things so much that your life is suddenly a tangled ball of yarn. Thank the Bishop.

Not having to think about this mission gives you time to get to know your boyfriend. Meet the parents. Freak out. Meet his sisters. Freak out. A day later, meet the entire extended family at boyfriend's sister's wedding. Have a meltdown. Go home. Decide that it wasn't all that bad.

You weren't planning on it, but go ahead and fall in love.

Let a few months pass. It will be very hard to do, but reapply for your mission. You realize as you are falling more in love with this guy that the longer you wait to leave, the harder it'll be to part ways with him. You figure the quicker you leave, the easier it'll be. As you are going through this process, you can go ahead and cry. You're entitled to that.

August 10th is the day of your departure. You wish it to be a little earlier, but that is out of your control. Prepare for mission. Boyfriend starts talking about marriage. Be hopeful. Realize how much of a Mormon cliché this is. Shrug it off.

The Proposal:


Boyfriend asks if you want to go see a waterfall. You're having a bad morning, and this particular waterfall is your favorite retreat. You also realize that he might propose here. Agree to go.

Drive up to the waterfall. Hike to the waterfall. Admire the waterfall. Notice that it looks like a Bridal's Veil. Note the irony. Sit down on a log. Look up at boyfriend. Look down at boyfriend. Look for the CTR ring he said he'd have for you. Be surprised at the engagement ring. Stammer, "What...? How did you...? Yes!"

Kiss fiancé.